Today is Monday, November 23rd. This is a bad day for me. It is the third anniversary of my young son's passing. All in all, I seem to have gotten over the deepest part of my grief, but today is a rough one. It seems to hit a little harder today. I decided over the weekend to go ahead and work today to take on some of the overflow from the Thanksgiving holiday. For me personally, the best option for a heavy heart is to stay busy. It just didn't seem to work for me so well today. Everyone kept calling on my cell to let me know they were thinking of me today. This is kindness, I know. Still...kind of hard to try and put it out of your mind when you are constantly being reminded. I sound very ungrateful, I don't mean to. It is just that for me, my grief has taken on a very personal tone. I choose to lapse into it alone. It doesn't happen nearly as often, but when it does, I prefer to be alone. I don't like to shed tears at work. I lapsed into tears at least 3 times today. I think that next year I will just stay home.
You know, I consider myself a fairly intelligent woman. I know that today is just another day. I also know that I shouldn't let this day be any different than any other. I just wish that someone could tell all that to my heart. Oh well, what is one to do?
I have cake decorating class tonight, and up until writing this blog, I really felt I would cancel. I have now changed my mind and I am going to go. What better medicine for a broken heart than a bunch of giggling women making clown cakes? Again I must say thanks to my sister for inviting me to join this class. It is a savior today.
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